Heather Michet

Training, experience and education are essential ingredients to work in the world of death and bereavement. A world filled with folx in the midst of grief and loss. Heart, I would offer, is another ingredient that is needed to create a recipe that allows for the alchemy of connection. Heart. That is a word that encapsulates this quarter’s NWADEBS featured member: Heather Michet.

I met Heather through NW ADEBS three years ago and, as a disclosure, will share that we became friends. (Another reason to connect through the organization!) It was fortunate timing. My mother died a few months after we met and I was able to engage Heather in her service as a ceremonialist. Because of that, I can personally attest to her gift of weaving song into ceremony.

Heather is multi-talented and multi-educated, trained, and experienced. She has woven her extensive background into her two businesses, Purple Crow Sings  and Iris Healing Arts, to support those experiencing grief and loss. I sent her the following questions so you could get to know not only Heather’s background, but her heart. To discover why she is drawn to this call.

Heather, what first drew your heart toward working in the area of end-of-life and bereavement?

I experienced eight significant deaths in 1996, several of which were exceedingly difficult losses. These included my deeply beloved “heart-mom” and a close friend who continues to inspire me to this day due to her indomitable positivity and courageous acts during her extreme health issues.

That year awakened an intense awareness of death, dying and a curiosity to know what was beyond death. Perhaps it was that heightened awareness along with my naturally being a seeker, but books and conversations began to drop into my life to expand my understanding.

A few years later, I completed a profound and impactful hospice training with Mt. Hood Hospice and began volunteering with them.  While I did respite care with patients (so family members could get a break, buy groceries, etc.,) I really delighted in singing for the annual Time of Remembering ceremony, weaving meaningful songs into the program. My vocal music also became part of the annual Volunteer Appreciation Dinner and around the giant woks as we cooked yakisoba noodles in our fundraiser booth for Sandy Mountain Festival.  I had no idea then that I would ultimately blend these two loves (a cappella singing and end-of-life) into offerings of service for the bereaved.

One of your websites, Purple Crow Sings, offers your gift as a “Ceremonialist, Songstress and Healing Guide” for folks contemplating the end of their life or those who are grieving the loss of someone and is in need of ceremony. Can you share how you engage with your clients to discern their needs and form a ritual/ceremony?First we have a Getting To Know You call in which I learn of any ideas they have in mind for a ceremony (sometimes that’s nothing!) and they hear what it might look and feel like to co-create a gathering.  If we are a match, my most important first step is listening.  I want to learn who they are or were through stories, interests, beliefs about life and death, and their spiritual or religious backgrounds.  These informative bits are creative sparks that ignite my intuitive hopper with aspects of the ceremony.  It may be an idea for the location, what type of food to share in the feast afterwards, and certainly which songs will enhance attendees’ experience while deepening the meaning of the ceremony for them.  The client and I volley ideas back & forth until I have the bones of what to include.  Then I get to shuffle them around into an Order of Ceremony that flows, builds, then closes with hearts expanded from awakened memories, laughter, sadness truly felt, tears shed, and happiness at sharing so much with other people.

(Folks may first encounter Heather through her YouTube video on her website, where she explains her services and shares her vocal talents.)

How have you seen your role as a Ceremonialist, Songstress and Healing Guide shifting in the “Age of Covid-19?”With Corona Times eliminating the option of in-person gatherings, ie. “the way we’ve been doing it,” I feel the need for help and guidance in creating some sort of ceremony has increased.  The limitations call for even greater creativity and ingenuity when it comes to honoring and remembering beloveds, or holding other types of ceremonies.  I’ve added lots of songs to my YouTube channel, making them available to anyone needing some comfort, uplift or inspiration.

Because people are deprived of physically being with the dying, their friends and family, and joining together in ceremony, the call for support in grief wellness has increased.  One of my Corona Times services (created as a result of the pandemic imposed restrictions) is Your Own Private Concert. Via smart phone or computer, I bring a unique concert of a cappella songs right into the room of someone on hospice, an isolated elder or a grieving family – anyone who can use the soothing, comforting and uplifting sounds of live music.  It’s a true blessing for me to offer this and has been very helpful for those who hear it.

Additionally, I’ve been doing more outside ceremonies including memorials for the dead and celebrations for the dying, healing rituals, and house clearing/blessing ceremonies.

When did you first come to the understanding that creating ceremony could be an important part of the grief journey, either before a death occurs or after?I didn’t think about it that way at first, but creating, singing in and leading a ceremony for a deeply divided family’s brother, indicated the profound healing power of ceremony.  Gathering all factions together in one room, with one purpose, one pathway, ultimately led to much needed healing and conversation. It changed my life.

What are some of your favorite and/or meaningful songs that you sing…both in ceremonies and to help buoy your own spirits?

For ceremony, I absolutely love including Company of Friends by Danny Schmidt. It’s a favorite of mine and listeners because it does exactly what I want my music to do: cause folks to broaden their understanding of death and dying, while calling them to celebrate the life – their own and others’ – and the small things that provided meaning and delight, such as “red balloons” and “lips on ears.” (You can hear Heather sing Company of Friends here.)

Chantras are common in the ceremonies I lead and create.  These meditative, redirecting (thoughts, focus, energy) and inspiring ditties are a cross between a chant and a mantra, thus their name.  They are very simple in both melody and lyrics, making them easy to teach and learn so we can sing together in ceremony.  For example, one might remind us of gratitude, another may help us “re-member” the beloved who’s being honored, and another may steer us back to the truth of our connection to all that is.

Your other service is Iris Healing Arts. First, how does one train to become an aromatherapist?

I learned the French Method of Aromatherapy, which is the medical model. Training was, and continues to be, a lifelong study subject – geared to the cerebral learning of the sciences including anatomy & physiology, biology and pathology.  The science based background is essential to begin to understand and respect the highly potent, complex and effective medicine which is Aromatherapy, ie. plant derived medicine.

How do you tailor your work as an aromatherapist toward end-of-life and bereavement?

Grief is a very hungry bugger when it comes to immune system strength. It saps us, tanking our ability to fend off sickness and rendering us physically vulnerable. Grieving is a full-time job so we just don’t have the bandwidth to track everything while we are grieving, including our self-care and well-being.

We must support our physical well-being, even with the smallest steps, to do our best to stay well.  Grief lives in the body and it takes a huge toll on our health.  Tending the physical body in addition to the mental, spiritual and emotional bodies, is essential for us to be present during our grief walk.

How many people do you know, perhaps even yourself, who have become physically sick while grieving, particularly in the most intense initial stages of deep grief? The smallest steps and simple tools can help promote our physical health during this grieving time.

This is why the Grief Wellness services I offer – guiding folks on physical, mental and emotional self-care during grief – are so critical and helpful.  Custom-formulated Aromatherapy, wellness tools and techniques and more, are parts of a Grief Wellness plan. For example, my Tranquility product was formulated for those riding the emotional rollercoaster, including grief, providing a buffer between our emotions and challenging life situations. Fresh Air Fare, originally formulated for use during air travel, contains essential oils that support immune system health.  This blend can be super beneficial for the bereaved, not to mention those of us who want an extra layer of protection amidst Covid-19!

How do your two primary offerings engage with each other (Aromatherapy training alongside Ceremonialist, Songstress and Healing Guide?)

Opening to, developing and refining my intuitive skills has been a decades-long pathway. It is key in my practice with my wellness clients (including Grief Wellness) and ceremonial clients. I am incorporating both the science and intuitive aspects in all of my work.  Knowing what to create is informed by both my cognitive and kinesthetic pools:  whether it’s a custom Aromatherapy blend for a client, suggestions of the most effective wellness tools for someone’s unique grief journey or the components of a customized memorial celebration.
As you care for others who are grieving, how do you care for yourself?


Nature is my primary nourishment so I am outdoors a lot and often: hiking, biking, walking, camping, and sometimes simply lying on the Earth either gazing up at the trees or observing the details with #bellyontheearth.  I’m a lifelong journaler and this practice saves and enhances my life every day.

Another foundational component to my self-care is food: growing it, cooking it, and devouring it.  Throw in some yoga several days a week plus a nap here and there, and I’ve got what could be a full-time job of self-care!

What suggestions would you give to someone/a family who wants to create a ritual for someone who has died but due to Covid restriction can’t have a larger gathering for now?

Begin thinking about and collecting ideas now for a gathering in the future when we’ll be able to gather together in person.  This gets the creative juices flowing and offers something to look forward to that can be a super celebration! Absolutely create and do some sort of honoring, online or live and safely distanced. Perhaps it’s a very small number of family members or a sampling of one person from each of the beloved’s life community (work, family, friends, spiritual community…) that gathers safely.  This can be filmed and shared in a virtual gathering for the larger life community of the honored person.

How have you been caring for yourself during the pandemic?

The most important step for me has been limiting news to virtually nil while staying updated on the pandemic’s status.  Even if you don’t actively seek it out, news finds us.

This also includes staying out of the drama on social media.  My science brain is interested in the health aspects of the virus and its behaviors and that caught me up in the first couple of weeks of lockdown.  It quickly became super clear that reading too much about it was spiraling me down into a vortex of hopelessness, despair and “Ain’t it awful!” – all mental spaces I choose not to feed or live in.

I’ve also been hyper diligent about my outdoor activities in nature for physical, mental and emotional health.

Other Corona Times wellness involves lots of cooking, something I love to do anyway; journaling and reflection; blog post writing – sharing wellness tips that are aimed at staying well throughout the pandemic; ramped up gardening and foraging; staying in contact with beloveds; and listening to virtual shows by dear musician friends. This supports me and them by my presence and monetary donations.

What has being a member of NWADEBS meant for you?

Colleagues and connections, a part of my end-of-life tribe.  It offers a place where I can learn about and speak freely in the realm of death and dying.  That is a gift.

You’ll be on our panel of presenters for Alternative & Body Therapies for End-of-Life and Grief Support Oct 1st. Is there anything you would like to add from what has already been discussed to entice folks to attend that presentation?

I’ll be experimenting with my latest version of “smell-o-vision.” :)  Singing will be involved…and it won’t be all solos.

What else would you like the NWADEBS community to know about Heather, Purple Crow Sings, and Iris Healing Arts?

Get well and stay well by connecting with the Earth, her rhythms and offerings.  From her we have the blueprint and the tools to live richly and die in awareness and harmony.

To connect with Heather, check out her websites:
PurpleCrowSings.com,   IrisHealingArts.com
Email:  Connect@PurpleCrowSings.com
Phone:  503-913-1310
Facebook:      Purple Crow Sings        Iris Healing Arts
Instagram:    @HeatherMichet
And don’t forget to go to her YouTube Channel and please Subscribe if the content interests and supports you!